Debi – Age 50

Debi

Age 50

What the project means to me…

Fifty years on this earth and l don’t think I’ve ever stopped to seriously consider who l am to any great extent. Well not until this project came along. When the majority of your life has been spent being something to somebody else i.e. a Mother, a partner, a employee, whilst putting others’ concerns before your own, the time to luxuriate in self-discovery is a rare thing.

l don’t mind admitting the project pushed me outside my comfort zone of brushing debris under the carpet. ‘What if l can’t find myself?’ ‘What if l don’t like what l find?’ l confess the idea scared me a little but l did it. l tentatively lifted the edge of that carpet and I’m very glad l did so.

Through the experience l have been able to see the connections between ‘self’ and why l make the work l do as a visual artist. You’d think this would be obvious but it wasn’t to me. l work on gut instinct and origins of an idea are rarely clear so explaining the work to an audience or potential buyer was difficult. l now feel more confident about my work.

Before the project l worried about being taken seriously as l have a tendency to contradict but l realise now that we are not fixed as beings and our identities are an ongoing process which change with experience. I believe that to contradict is healthy especially as I’ve found my core sense of self.